Interview with a Patriot

This article has an exclusive interview with local war Patriot, John Rankin!

Reporter: So John, how's the army doing?

John: Right now, it's starting to get cold, so we're trying to preserve food and clothing to stay warm and healthy, but otherwise we're doing fine! Not many quitters or deserters so far!

Reporter: Good! Do you think the British will give in soon?

John: I hope so! I don't want to fight them forever! Although, think some of the British owe me at least 50 pounds and I think they're using the war as an excuse to get out of it!

Reporter: Why do they owe you so much money?

John: I'm incredibly good at predicting the future! For instance, I know that some time in the future, 2 teenagers will do a project on a thing called a computer and will record this conversation for thier amusment. Then in disbelief, you'll say something that won't be popular until the 1930's.

Reporter: Horsefeathers! I'm tired of your hogwash! I think I learned enough of life on the front!

John: Y-you only asked 2 questions.

Reporter: And that's 2 too many! Good day to you, sir!